


Not Your Average Leg Day

by Dakoyone



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Modern Gym!AU, PWP, Porn, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 18:46:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16897968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dakoyone/pseuds/Dakoyone
Summary: Crackfic inspired by real life observations. No DnD characters were harmed (too much) in the writing of this fic.Here there be crack.Asari not sorry





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [codenamecynic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/codenamecynic/gifts), [bettydice (BettyKnight)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyKnight/gifts), [Fionavar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fionavar/gifts), [onemooncircles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onemooncircles/gifts).



> “Modern gym may be AU, but dicks touching is forever.” - some wise person, probably

_ Just one more set before I move to core training,  _ Harper thinks to himself as he rolls his shoulders a bit. He bounces from side to side on his toes to keep his energy up.  _ Then after core training, I’ll be free to just...horse around. _

He catches Vigo’s eye as the elf makes his rounds around the weight room. “That’s right. You heard me.”

Vigo blinks at him. “...I’m sorry?”

_ Oh, shit! I said that out loud. _ Suddenly very embarrassed, probably more embarrassed than is actually warranted, Harper whips back around and picks up the barbell once more.  _ One... _ inhale.  _ Two... _ inhale.  _ Three... _ inhale.

“Mmmm.”

_ Four... _ inhale.

“Ahhh.”

_ Five...what? _

“Ooh,  _ yesss _ …”

There is a wall length mirror in front of him (the better to watch things ripple in, if you know what I mean), and Harper makes the poor life choice of glancing at the spot just beyond his reflection where the dark-skinned, glistening peacock Jarnath sits on a bench curling a pair of dumbbells. Curling a pair of 2lb dumbbells. Curling a pair of 2lb dumbbells  _ seductively _ while maintaining eye contact with Harper in the mirror. 

The drow grins, all pointed teeth and teasing tongue, and Harper feels the right corner of his face lift in what could possibly be construed as a grin? ...of sorts? but is more likely to be a straight grimace. In fact, it is simply a grimace, and Harper feels a shiver of fear, not only for the wallet he left in his gym bag in the locker room earlier, but also for the other junk in his gym shorts pockets. Actual junk, that is. But also his dick.

Needless to say, that is one Zone of Impenetrable Darkness he’s not ready to explore...again. Not that there was a before.

There isn’t. Honestly.

Perhaps Khem could act as a buffer between Jarnath and himself. _Hah!_ Who is he kidding? He sneaks a glance at his friend-ally, who is sitting at the reception desk typing away frantically at the computer. _Probably on Reddit_ , he thinks, _instigating heated arguments with internet trolls._ _Khemuret Xul, the hero that netizens never asked for but desperately needs._

He watches a little longer as Khem takes a break to spin in her chair - just because she can - and bends down to give Twitch little scritches as he catnaps at her feet. Then she catches his eye and glares as if she’s aware he’s been staring and that it’s just awkward now. 

_ Whatever. She loves me. _

Harper’s gaze wanders over to where his two children are. At some point, Shay had somehow managed to convince Katy to do some exercise. And of course, in exchange, Katy wanted Shay to spot her while she worked. His sister-daughter has absolutely no ulterior motive planned at all. Except…

“Oops,” Katy gasps as the barbell she’s holding  _ somehow _ slips out of her grip. Shay is there instantly, catching the heavy weight before it could fall and potentially crush their feet. The action draws their faces  _ suuuuper  _ close for a hot second before Shay rights herself, clearing her throat nervously and turning her face away slightly to hide the tint in her cheeks. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Shay…” Katy’s voice is soft and coy. “My arms are just  _ too  _ weak.”

_ Set the foundation. _

“Nothing at all like your big…”

_ Ooh, is that a hint of Mae West? _

“...strong, defined,  _ capable _ …”

_ Easy there. You’re laying it on a bit thick. _

“...muscled arms.”

_ Nice recovery. _

Katy bats her eyelashes coquettishly and bites her lip.

“... _ buh _ ,” comes Shay’s very succinct response.

_ That’s my girl! _

Harper mentally fist pumps. He would literally fist pump, but Vigo is still giving him curious, worried - maybe even possibly paternal (and boy if that isn’t just slightly weird) - glances, and Jarnath is...well. Let’s just say that no one else will be using those dumbbells anytime soon. If ever. Except Rylfein, probably. It’s not a thought he feels like dwelling on.

Aaaaand he lost count of his reps, but it’s fine. He’s probably done more than he should’ve.

_ Time to find...ahh, there. _ Jorran is on the aerobic floor, dancing to some workout routine on the tv screen - something that has three men in purple leotards doing some coordinated high knees or something. It’s an older video, given its very grainy quality, but Jorran seems to be working up a good sweat, from his bright blue bandana to his giant sweater (which is to trap his body heat or something) down to his fuzzy wristbands and Fitbit watch.

“Doing alright there, Jorran?” Harper asks.

“Huh? What-- oh, Taliesin!” Jorran wheezes back while he turns his head, unsure whether to focus his attention on his brother now or to continue watching the screen. “Done...already? Wanna...join me?”

Harper grins, an expression both sincere and fond. “I’ll pass, thanks.”

“You-- you sure? It’s...quite...fun…” Jorran does an arrhythmic step in place but somehow still manages to keep up with the trainers. 

“Really, I’m good. You enjoy.”

“Suit yourself then.” Jorran returns to his awkward body flailing, and Harper steps past him.

Just then the door to the weight room opens, and Cort is there framed against the morning light coming in through the doorway. Suddenly everything else melts away, and it’s just Harper, Cort, and the iconic introduction to Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” queueing up in his head. Cort sees Harper, and the smile that greets him is so blindingly bright it feels like goddamn Christmas is here. 

Everything happens at half time as Cort steps fully into the room. The door behind him closes slowly as well, but that’s just the hydraulics. Still, the way Cort’s eyes light up upon seeing him, and the way the dimples in his cheeks deepen… God, how even does one man make loose fitting gym clothes look so damn sexy? This man is sin. Sin and chocolate. And he smells like sweat and saltwater taffy, and Harper just wants to climb him like a tree and suck that sweet lower lip between his teeth…

Except that Harper is just standing there, gaping like a dumbass deer in headlights.

Cort is closer now. Very close. Extremely...Harper has to tilt his chin up slightly to meet his gaze. Should he kiss him? He should probably kiss him. He’s read somewhere that it’s the polite thing to do. ...where he read it is unimportant.

“Core training?”

“... _ buh _ ?” 

On the other side of the room, Shay snickers, but Harper doesn’t hear her. Everything right now is all Cort.

_ Cort training? I can get behind that. Or under. Hell, just any way he wants me. _

Cort’s hands are on his shoulders, and he finds himself turned in the direction of a set of machines. “Core training, Taliesin.”

“Oh! Right.”  _ Idiot. _

They set themselves up, familiar with each other’s habits and preferences. Harper spots Cort first as he lays himself on the bench for crunches. Soon the room is filled with the soft sounds of Cort’s rhythmic grunting. Then they switch places, and Harper is grunting while Cort anchors his feet. The atmosphere is thick with...something, and everyone else in the room is awkwardly quiet as they resume their own workouts. Even Jorran’s workout video is muted while he follows along clumsily.

Khem is wearing Bose noise-cancelling headphones. She’s smart.

Katy watches, entranced, while she sits in the shoulder press bench with her chin in her hands.

Cort and Harper move on to the roman chair where they once again alternate sets. And if Cort makes a soft but audible hiss when Harper clenches his glutes  _ just  _ so, Harper certainly isn’t going to bring attention to it. Yet.

This goes on for another twenty minutes as the pair work through other core exercises, but it feels like an eternity what with all the heated glances and deliberate touches and the torturous proximity and  _ all the grunting _ . The volume increases as their muscles strain from the effort, the timbre progressively sounding more like something between orgasm and pain before it melds into a sensuous love child of the two tones.

Suddenly Cort pulls Harper in by the collar of his gym shirt, nearly shredding the fabric right off of his back. “You need a shower, Taliesin,” Cort says, and damn if that isn’t the hottest thing said in the hottest, huskiest voice ever.

“You first.”  _ Oh yeah. I still got it. _

The two men practically race to beat each other out of the weight room. Once they leave, everyone else breathes a collective sigh, partly dreamy and partly in relief.

Khem randomly fist pumps the air and spins in her chair. “I just murdered a whiny manchild!”

No context, no problem.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here there be porn. 
> 
> Asari not sorry

In the shower room, the energy is so charged it’s nearly tangible. Lips and teeth nip at any visible patch of skin as hands move frantically to peel sweat stained shirts off of their bodies. They revel in the feel of each other’s hard muscles, the rewards of all the hours they spent training today.

Taliesin finds himself pressed against the wall, and he shivers as the chill from the cold tile seeps into the skin of his back. Cort scrapes his teeth against the top of his shoulder, and he throws his head back, letting out a low, shuddering moan in response. Cort moulds himself to Taliesin’s front, and the difference between the tile and Cort’s searing hot and hard body nearly drives Taliesin into a frenzy.

His hands find Cort’s waist, and he traces the lines and planes of his abs, enjoying the faint quiver of muscles there beneath the touch-sensitive skin. He reasons that it’s only fair for Cort to feel as mad for him as he is for Cort. But Taliesin forgets that Cort nearly always sets the pace and the tone. He nearly yelps when the water sprays over both of them, cold at first before warming up to a reasonable temperature. Cort chuckles above him, his voice dark and sinful.

And wet. So very wet.

It is so easy to simply slide down between Cort and the wall, dragging his body down and down against Cort’s hard cock until Taliesin catches it with his lips and slides it wet and easily into his mouth.

“ _ Fuck! _ ” Cort slams a fist against the wall to keep from bucking his hips into Harper instinctively, but his resolve is tested when Taliesin palms his ass before squeezing, drawing Cort’s length in deeper until his nose is pressed to the skin at the base.

Taliesin hears Cort’s shuddering exhale before he feels a trembling hand drag their fingers against his scalp and into his hair, clenching with just enough pressure to make it tingle pleasurably. With a gentle tug, he feels himself being slowly pulled off Cort’s cock nearly to the tip before he’s pressed forward again. He’s tugged back again and then pushed forward once more. And again. And again. Cort continues - slowly and deliberately tugging and pushing. He’s panting now, soft and jerky puffs of air, as he fucks Taliesin’s mouth. Taliesin knows he won’t last like this, not with the way he’s gliding his tongue against the underside of the member all the way to the tip, tasting him - bitter, salty, and perfect. 

Cort comes with a low grunt, his fingers clenching briefly in Taliesin’s hair as his body shudders from the intensity of it. Taliesin watches him as it happens, memorizing every nuance in his expression as he’s overcome with bliss - the way his dark brows furrow over his glazed eyes, his pupils blown wide in ecstasy.

Then they focus on his face, sharp with lust and longing and a million more unspoken things.

Taliesin finds himself suddenly pulled up and pressed back against the wall with his mouth fused with Cort’s. He’s not at all surprised to feel something hot and hard and ready for another go so soon. Cort pulls away from the lingering kiss with a light scrape of his teeth on Taliesin’s bottom lip, wearing a smirk on his face like he knows a secret. 

“Your turn now.”

All thought scatter from Taliesin’s mind as he is turned facing the wall, the witty remark on the tip of his tongue exchanged for a low moan as he feels oiled fingers spreading him, readying him. His own cock twitches, pressed between himself and the wall as he feels Cort pushing up against his opening. And when it slides in, so wet and easily, they both groan in unison. 

He feels calm here in this moment of stillness.

Then Cort pulls back before surging forward again, and soon they’re both grunting in rhythm as Cort drives his hips into Taliesin. He reaches around and grasps Taliesin’s cock, pressing a kiss against his lover’s temple as he shudders at the contact and pumping him in time with his thrusts. Taliesin cries out helplessly at the double assault, his vision going white as the pressure reaches its peak and sends him soaring over the edge, spilling his cum onto Cort’s hand and onto the wall.

They both stand there breathing hard, Taliesin with his cheek and forehead pressed against the wall to cool his overheated senses and Cort leaning heavily against his back. Then they both groan simultaneously in pain as their ab muscles remind them of the actual workout they did less than an hour earlier.

Cort chuckles, but it hurts. It’s still funny though; so Taliesin starts laughing and instantly regrets the impulse. Both men are reduced to grinning amusedly and fondly at each other as they recover from their very probably ill-advised physical exertions.

“Worth it though,” Cort manages to say through the pain.

“Yeah. A++ would come again.”


End file.
